Once upon a time . . . they lived happily ever after . . .    Once upon a time . . . they lived happily ever after . . .

        Alice in Wonderland Clip Art Alice in Wonderland Fairy Tale



 
Fairy Tales :
 
Fairy Tales & Fables
Traditional Fairy Tales
Grimm's Fairy Tales - 1
Grimm's Fairy Tales - 2
Hans Christian Andersen
Quotes from Fairy Tales
 
Fables :
 
Aesop's Fables - 1  
Aesop's Fables - 2
 
Stories :
 
Alice in Wonderland
Alice in Wonderland Art
Through the Looking Glass
 
Nursery Rhymes :
 

Nursery Rhymes - 1

Nursery Rhymes - 2

Nursery Rhymes - 3

Nursery Rhymes - 4

Nursery Rhymes - 5

Nursery Rhymes - 6

Nursery Rhymes - 7

Nursery Rhymes - 8

Nursery Rhymes - 9

Nursery Rhymes - 10

Nursery Rhymes - 11

Nursery Rhymes - 12

Nursery Rhymes - 13

Nursery Rhymes - 14

Nursery Rhymes - 15

Adult Fairy Tales :

Ambrose Bierce - 1

Ambrose Bierce - 2

Great Sites :
 

Fun & Games

Advertise Here

Amusement

Best Baby Names

Christmas Jokes

College Humor

Complete Nonsense

Fairy Tales

Famous Poems

Famous Quotes

Flowers

Framed Posters

Free Diet Plans

Free Song Lyrics

Free View Webcams

Friendship Quotes

Funny Cat Pictures

Funny Cats

Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes Online

Funny Pictures

Funny Poems

Funny Quotes

Ghost Pictures

Ghost Stories

Glaswegian

Healthy Recipes

Humorous Scripts

Humor Posters

Inspirational Poems

Insult Generator

Knock Knock Jokes

Limerick Poems

Limericks

Love Poems

Fantasy Books

Mockery

Model Posters

Movie Posters

Names Meanings

Rabbie Burns

Not Mensa

Photographs

Poet

Poker Articles

Posters

Quotations Online

Random Words

Riddles Online

Odd Jokes

Spam

Sports Posters

Duck Webcam

Strange Laws

Stupid Laws

Tongue Twisters

Top 100 Baby Names

Webmaster Articles

Weird Facts

Weird Websites

Weird

Work From Home

Worst City

Worst Jobs

Worst Jokes

Top Sites

   
Fairy-Tales.biz . . . for fairy tales and fables . . .
 

Funny Fairy Tales by Ambrose Bierce

The Ingenious Patriot

HAVING obtained an audience of the King an Ingenious Patriot pulled
a paper from his pocket, saying:

'May it please your Majesty, I have here a formula for constructing
armour-plating which no gun can pierce. If these plates are
adopted in the Royal Navy our warships will be invulnerable, and
therefore invincible. Here, also, are reports of your Majesty's
Ministers, attesting the value of the invention. I will part with
my right in it for a million tumtums.'

After examining the papers, the King put them away and promised him
an order on the Lord High Treasurer of the Extortion Department for
a million tumtums.

'And here,' said the Ingenious Patriot, pulling another paper from
another pocket, 'are the working plans of a gun that I have
invented, which will pierce that armour. Your Majesty's Royal
Brother, the Emperor of Bang, is anxious to purchase it, but
loyalty to your Majesty's throne and person constrains me to offer
it first to your Majesty. The price is one million tumtums.'

Having received the promise of another check, he thrust his hand
into still another pocket, remarking:

'The price of the irresistible gun would have been much greater,
your Majesty, but for the fact that its missiles can be so
effectively averted by my peculiar method of treating the armour
plates with a new- '

The King signed to the Great Head Factotum to approach.

'Search this man,' he said, 'and report how many pockets he has.'

'Forty-three, Sire,' said the Great Head Factotum, completing the
scrutiny.

'May it please your Majesty,' cried the Ingenious Patriot, in
terror, 'one of them contains tobacco.'

'Hold him up by the ankles and shake him,' said the King; 'then
give him a check for forty-two million tumtums and put him to
death. Let a decree issue declaring ingenuity a capital offence.'


<-- Previous     |     Next -->

 
<< If you like The Ingenious Patriot check out our other fabulous fairy tales.>>

More Fairy Tales

 
. . . wishing you a happy ever after . . .
 
 
 
Wonderland :
 

 

 

 
 
   
 
Website Design Copyright 2009 by Weird-Websites.info