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Funny Fairy Tales by Ambrose Bierce

A Protagonist of Silver

SOME Financiers who were whetting their tongues on their teeth
because the Government had 'struck down' silver, and were about to
'inaugurate' a season of sweatshed, were addressed as follows by a
Member of their honourable and warlike body:

'Comrades of the thunder and companions of death, I cannot but
regard it as singularly fortunate that we who by conviction and
sympathy are designated by nature as the champions of that fairest
of her products, the white metal, should also, by a happy chance,
be engaged mostly in the business of mining it. Nothing could be
more appropriate than that those who from unselfish motives and
elevated sentiments are doing battle for the people's rights and
interests, should themselves be the chief beneficiaries of success.
Therefore, O children of the earthquake and the storm, let us stand
shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart, and pocket to pocket!'

This speech so pleased the other Members of the convention that,
actuated by a magnanimous impulse, they sprang to their feet and
left the hall. It was the first time they had ever been known to
leave anything having value.


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