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Funny Fairy Tales by Ambrose Bierce

Two in Trouble

MEETING a fat and patriotic Statesman on his way to Washington to
beseech the President for an office, an idle Tramp accosted him and
begged twenty-five cents with which to buy a suit of clothes.

'Melancholy wreck,' said the Statesman, 'what brought you to this
state of degradation? Liquor, I suppose.'

'I am temperate to the verge of absurdity,' replied the Tramp. 'My
foible was patriotism; I was ruined by the baneful habit of trying
to serve my country. What ruined you?'

'Indolence.'

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