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Funny Fairy Tales by Ambrose Bierce

The Critics

WHILE bathing, Antinous was seen by Minerva, who was so enamoured
of his beauty that, all armed as she happened to be, she descended
from Olympus to woo him; but, unluckily displaying her shield, with
the head of Medusa on it, she had the unhappiness to see the
beautiful mortal turn to stone from catching a glimpse of it. She
straightway ascended to ask Jove to restore him; but before this
could be done a Sculptor and a Critic passed that way and espied
him.

'This is a very bad Apollo,' said the Sculptor: 'the chest is too
narrow, and one arm is at least a half-inch shorter than the other.
The attitude is unnatural, and I may say impossible. Ah! my
friend, you should see my statue of Antinous.'

'In my judgment, the figure,' said the Critic, 'is tolerably good,
though rather Etrurian, but the expression of the face is decidedly
Tuscan, and therefore false to nature. By the way, have you read
my work on 'The Fallaciousness of the Aspectual in Art'?'


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