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Funny Fairy Tales by Ambrose Bierce

An Invitation

A PIOUS Person who had overcharged his paunch with dead bird by way
of attesting his gratitude for escaping the many calamities which
Heaven had sent upon others, fell asleep at table and dreamed. He
thought he lived in a country where turkeys were the ruling class,
and every year they held a feast to manifest their sense of
Heaven's goodness in sparing their lives to kill them later. One
day, about a week before one of these feasts, he met the Supreme
Gobbler, who said:

'You will please get yourself into good condition for the
Thanksgiving dinner.'

'Yes, your Excellency,' replied the Pious Person, delighted, 'I
shall come hungry, I assure you. It is no small privilege to dine
with your Excellency.'

The Supreme Gobbler eyed him for a moment in silence; then he said:

'As one of the lower domestic animals, you cannot be expected to
know much, but you might know something. Since you do not, you
will permit me to point out that being asked to dinner is one
thing; being asked to dine is another and a different thing.'

With this significant remark the Supreme Gobbler left him, and
thenceforward the Pious Person dreamed of himself as white meat and
dark until rudely awakened by decapitation.

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