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Funny Fairy Tales by Ambrose Bierce

The Rainmaker

AN Officer of the Government, with a great outfit of mule-waggons
loaded with balloons, kites, dynamite bombs, and electrical
apparatus, halted in the midst of a desert, where there had been no
rain for ten years, and set up a camp. After several months of
preparation and an expenditure of a million dollars all was in
readiness, and a series of tremendous explosions occurred on the
earth and in the sky. This was followed by a great down-pour of
rain, which washed the unfortunate Officer of the Government and
the outfit off the face of creation and affected the agricultural
heart with joy too deep for utterance. A Newspaper Reporter who
had just arrived escaped by climbing a hill near by, and there he
found the Sole Survivor of the expedition - a mule-driver - down on
his knees behind a mesquite bush, praying with extreme fervour.

'Oh, you can't stop it that way,' said the Reporter.

'My fellow-traveller to the bar of God,' replied the Sole Survivor,
looking up over his shoulder, 'your understanding is in darkness.
I am not stopping this great blessing; under Providence, I am
bringing it.'

'That is a pretty good joke,' said the Reporter, laughing as well
as he could in the strangling rain - 'a mule driver's prayer
answered!'

'Child of levity and scoffing,' replied the other; 'you err again,
misled by these humble habiliments. I am the Rev. Ezekiel Thrifft,
a minister of the gospel, now in the service of the great
manufacturing firm of Skinn & Sheer. They make balloons, kites,
dynamite bombs, and electrical apparatus.'


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